I didn't know if I should post about this, but posting about it feels right. I've been struggling a lot lately, and I didn't want to admit it. Now I feel that I have to. Yesterday something happened that devastated me. One of my dogs passed away. I knew it was going to happen soon because she was old, but it still hurt. I had Misa since she was a puppy and she was almost like a child to me. Yesterday when I brought her out, she leaned her head against me as I was bringing her. It felt almost like she was saying goodbye. She did her business more quickly than usual, and didn't seem interested in treats when I brought her back inside. A few hours later, she was gone. I'm glad her passing was peaceful, but I wish that I would have had more time with her. It breaks my heart whenever I bring her sister outside and then think to myself that it's Misa's turn, only to be reminded that Misa's gone. My eyes tear up when I spot her favorite toy, a stuffed Minnie Mouse that I got from petsmart or petco. I can't bare to move the toy yet. It's almost as if moving the toy will mean she's never going to get to play with it again. I'm grateful for the time I got to spend with Misa, I just wish her time with me would have been longer.

Quick Update

It almost feels as if I have abandoned my blog, and maybe I have. I'm mostly active on instagram and twitter now, but only to post a 'daily' picture or a quick tweet. Tomorrow is Halloween, but it doesn't feel like Halloween to me. I usually love this time of year, but this year I've been feeling down lately. Things haven't been going so well for me, which effects everything including my writing and editing. I feel like I should have a book out by now, but I know better than to rush it. I rushed Zombie Bite and that didn't turn out so well. I don't want the same thing to happen with my next book. I know what I'm feeling is temporary and it'll pass soon, but I wish it already had.

Sincerely Silver

If you follow me on instagram you'll have seen a post I made showing off a gorgeous necklace. That necklace was from a website called sincerely silver, and I am in love with it. It's the perfect delicate necklace to wear everyday. It features my name in handwriting, but there are many other designs to chose from. You can check out the website below, and I've also included a code for you to receive 15%. 

https://www.sincerelysilver.co






Use the code SINCERELY15 for 15% percent off.

Weekend Review: Veronica Mars Season 4

My love affair with the Veronica Mars tv show started about a decade or so ago. The Hudson’s Treasure Hunt near my house had gotten a shipment from Best Buy and Veronica Mars season three was among the DVDs. I usually wouldn’t watch a tv series out of order, but there was something about the box art that drew me in. I loved teen shows, but this one looked grittier, so I decided to check it out. I instantly fell in love with the characters and hunted down the other two seasons on eBay. I spent the next week binge watching and found myself disappointed when it was finally over. Season three even had a teaser for the scraped season four. I wanted more, but there was no more to be found. It felt incomplete, raw, and unfinished. I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t release whatever they had filmed. I was thrilled when I heard they were making a movie, but less than thrilled when I finally saw it. While I was grateful to see all my favorite characters back, I didn’t feel like the story was compelling. In fact, the movie was forgettable, and the books couldn’t hold my interest. I was excited when I heard Hulu was working on new episodes. That excitement only grew with the release of the trailer. I wish I could say that the show lived up to the hype, but it just left me feeling disappointed. The first thing that I noticed was use of sexual language to make the show appear more ‘grown up’. While I know she’s not a teenager anymore, it feels as if they just threw sex in to remind us of that. Another complaint I have is the way beloved characters are treated. Wallace is reduced to furniture, only there when we need reminding that he’s still Veronica’s friend. I would have preferred to see a story line where they came back into each other’s lives after not speaking for a long period of time. Perhaps Veronica could have finally asked him for a favor that pushed them apart? Weevil underwent a similar treatment, only his purpose was to show up and save Veronica. I know something happened to their relationship in the books, but I didn’t read the books. The explanation given on the show is that he took a settlement to provide for his family, but he went behind Keith’s back to do so. I know she felt betrayed, but she had to understand that he was only taking the money to take care of his wife and child. Other characters had cameos just to show us that they still existed. The storyline itself is the weakest of the series. There’s a bomber in Neptune who doesn’t like Spring break. It doesn’t sound boring, but it could have been wrapped up more quickly than it was. None of the new characters were really that interesting either. I’ve read articles saying that Matty is just like Veronica was when she was younger, but I didn’t think so. I think the show went out of its way to tell us she was, but whenever they tried to show us it was always through other characters. Wallace’s knowing smile when she was talking to the hacker is one example. We never needed these cues with Veronica herself. I want to say something about the ending, because I feel that it was not only a slap in the face but a kick in the face. Logan is killed by a bomb after right after he and Veronica finally tie the knot. A beloved character was killed off because Rob Thomas wants the show to go a more noir route. Well, I don’t know if he’s noticed but the show is called Veronica Mars and not Mars Investigations. A big part of the show has always been Veronica’s personal life and now it seems like she’s starting over. After all the characters have gone through, they deserved a happy ending or at least a happy beginning. Whenever I loaded up a new episode I was greeted with Kristen Bell’s voice welcoming me back to the ‘magical world’ of Veronica Mars. Well I think there’s no magic left in Veronica Mars, in fact, season four felt like a pilot for a spin off that I don’t want to watch.   

My Library Doesn't Support Indie Authors

I remember going to the library at least once every week when I was younger. I would walk out with an armful of books. I participated in every summer reading program and the librarian knew me by name. I devoured Goosebumps, The Babysitter's Club, and the Sweet Valley Twins before growing too old for them and moving on to other works of fiction. I stopped going to the library as much when I moved, but the library still shaped me into the book lover that I am today. When I started to take writing seriously, I knew I wanted my books in the library. I would picture myself going to the library for events and book signings. I saw pictures of other authors in their libraries, smiling and holding their books. I pictured myself doing the same, beaming from ear to ear while meeting new readers. I was under the impression that the library would be supportive of indie authors, so I googled my local library and noticed a lack of author events. I thought that was strange, but decided to reach out to the library. I was shocked to find that while some libraries are supportive of self published authors, the one nearest to me is not. In my letter, I asked about both author events and how I could get my book on the shelves. I even offered to donate a copy. It didn't take long before I got an email back, telling me that they didn't usually accept self published books because they tend to be poor quality. They also said that if I donated a book they would probably sell it in their ‘Friends of the Library’ sale. Most of the books at that sale are sold for ten cents to two dollars. That changed my outlook on donating anything to the library (there’s a small used bookstore around me that I may donate to instead). While I can understand wanting high quality books, I have mixed feelings about this. Self published authors, otherwise known as Indie authors, sometimes work harder than their traditionally published counterparts. We don’t have a team backing us, and we have to work harder to be recognized for our work. We have to beg for every review, and sometimes give away our books for free just to gain readers. People dismiss us more often than they do traditionally published authors. I’ve personally been told that the only reason people self publish is because they aren’t smart enough to traditionally publish. We also have to put out our own money to make our book as professional as possible. Covers and editors aren’t cheap, and neither is growing our readership. We are held to a different standard, which makes it hard to find new readers. There’s also a stereotype that we self publish because we can’t write or that we just slap some unedited words on a page and throw our books out into the wonderful world of kindle. While there are some people who use self publishing to earn a quick buck, not all of us are like that. Some of us put out quality content. I have dreamed of being a writer since I was in second grade. I used to write my teacher little stories, and I always loved whenever we had any type of writing assignment (including daily journals). I decided to self publish because I wanted total control of my project, and because a literary agent called me by my character’s name instead of my own. I wanted to set the due dates, pick the cover, and try my hand at marketing. I also wanted to feel the smile break out across my face upon seeing my book in the library, but sadly, that day might not ever come.

Preview

I just wanted to pop in and share a preview of The Fortune Teller's Gift. I had a lot of fun writing this part, and I hope you enjoy reading it! Click here to read it!

Vocal +

Hi, I just wanted to stop in and say that I've started writing articles on vocal +. Some of them are fiction, but some are about my struggles as an indie author. You can read them all here. 

Why I decided to self publish

When I was nineteen I decided that I wanted to write for a living, so I started looking into it. I was planning to go the traditional route, and had even picked the agent that I wanted. I researched query letters and wrote her one (she loved the letter, but my story wasn't for her). I went on to query more agents, some of which offered advice. I started to imagine myself ending up in the slush pile, but I didn't let that stop me. I kept querying until I got THE RESPONSE. The response isn't a request to read more (if you click that says wolf within you can read it, but it was awful), but it was the response that let me know the agent didn't care about what they had read. I remember taking the time to fill out their form (complete with my name), and when I got their response back they referred to me as my character's name. That's probably when it clicked for me that it was all a business to them. I would be turning over my 'book baby' to a person who wasn't as passionate about my book as I was. I had been naive about the process and thought that I'd develop a relationship with all the people that I would work with. I then heard about an author who'd found success self publishing. I hadn't really heard anything about self publishing at that point, but I explored it and thought that it would be a great opportunity for me. I also liked how much control I would have over my books. Anyway, that's why I decided to self publish. I hope you enjoyed my take! Tell me in the comments why you decided to choose self/regular publishing in the comments down below.

900 Dollar Writing Courses...

I’ve never been one to ‘spill tea’, but there is one trend I’ve noticed in the indie author community that I don’t agree with. When I first started looking into self-publishing there weren’t that many authors out there. The only ones I’d really taken notice of were Amanda Hocking and HP Mallory. I started to research self-publishing and connected with other authors on twitter. I noticed that some of the authors I remember one author who’d written one poetry book and another on marketing. I thought it was a bit odd that she was selling a book offering advice when she didn’t have much experience herself. Currently, I’ve been turning to YouTube for writing videos and I’ve noticed the something similar happening. Authors are offering seminars or writing books that are supposed to tell you how to be a best seller. Some of these courses cost more than my college courses (some colleges offer creative writing courses and nearly all colleges offer a marketing course). I personally think there are better *free* resources online. Brandon Sanderson’s (very helpful) writing courses are on YouTube, and you only have to google ‘marketing advice’ to get marketing advice. I can understand why authors feel the pressure to do this. Self published authors are told they won't make any money unless they market themselves as a sales person/writing expert. I want to make it clear before I end this blog that I DO NOT have anything against these authors. My purpose for writing this blog is just to state that there are free resources out there that have helped me and can help others. 

The ugly truth about marketing your self published book

My phone does this thing where it recommends articles based on what I've read. Over the past two weeks I have been getting (what seems like a lot) of articles about making money self publishing. Sure, that's something I'm interested in. I've wanted to be a writer since I could hold a pencil, so I would love if my work would take off. I actually took a marketing class last semester and planned to use some of the things that I learned there to help me sell books. I needed to take the marketing class because of my major, so selling books wasn't the only reason that I decided to take the class. Anyway, I read two of those articles during my break at work, and they basically said that you will not make any money self publishing. This wasn't a new revelation for me. I know it's very hard to break out in this overcrowded market. It doesn't help that I write Urban Fantasy about werewolves, zombies, and fortune tellers and that doesn't seem to be selling as well now. New adult and erotica seem to be what's selling now. The article went on to say contradict itself. The writer went on to say that you can make money self publishing, if you're willing to sell your expertise on self publishing/writing. I thought about my early days on twitter, back when I was really trying to promote myself as an author. I ended up making friends with other authors, some of which never spoke to me. Every single one of those authors had a blog where they wrote about their struggles and successes as an author. Some of the authors even had books about marketing. These authors probably spent more of their time on marketing than they did on writing. This has never bothered me, but I used to wonder why authors spent so much time on this. I know now that they were probably making more money from promoting their marketing/writing advice than they were making from their books. There's a bigger market of people who want to sell their own books.

Once I publish The Fortune Teller's Gift, I plan to use what I have learned in marketing class to sell it. It is likely that I will blog about how that class helped me sell books.

Zombie Bite on Wattpad?

So I decided to put some of Zombie Bite on wattpad. You can read it here. Also, I'd love some feedback, so don't be afraid to leave a comment.

I just don't understand this 'trend'

Why is it that abuse is so popular in books? I'm not talking about the bickering that two characters do sometimes when they meet and start to feel attracted to each other. No, what I'm talking about is when one of the characters does things like telling the other character who she (or he) can and can't talk to, goes through their text messages, treats them poorly, etc. I have never met a guy that treated me poorly and decided that I wanted to get to know him better. Sure, there's probably a reason that he's a jerk, but once he treats me poorly I won't care enough to find out what it is. I'm sure this is a very real relationship type that many people do endure, but for once I'd like to see the girl (or guy) end up with someone who actually treats them well. I get that characters change and grow, but if they start out this poorly I'm not really sure why the main character decided to stick around.

Enchanted Moon

A few years ago I wrote a short novella called Enchanted Moon. I wasn't planning to do anything with it, since I'd mostly written it for school. I later realized that it was a prequel to a more important story which I will be editing and releasing on amazon and everywhere else books are sold. I decided to do some bare bones rewriting and I am going to release Enchanted Moon on wattpad chapter by chapter. Here's the link to my wattpad for those who are interested: https://www.wattpad.com/user/JPhoenix

Fiverr Warning

I, along with a lot of other indie authors, use fiverr. Well, at least I used to. I attempted to order a project not to long ago. The gig that I ordered costed $5 dollars, but the person who was doing the gig sent me messages demanding more money. I told them no, that I paid for the gig already and they decided to cancel. I wanted a refund (instead of keeping the money in my fiverr account). They didn't give me one, so I decided to make a claim. I soon got a warning from fiverr telling me that I had broken their rules. Something like this may not bother a lot of people, but I think you should be able to get your money back if your order doesn't work out. I also think that you shouldn't be punished for reaching out your method of payment and reporting when something doesn't go right.

Public reading pet peeves

Part of being a writer is being an avid reader. I developed a love for reading at a young age, but a few years ago I stopped reading as much. I started reading again when I picked up the book YOU by Caroline Kepnes, but I still am not reading as much as I used to. When I took a job as a receptionist I ended up finishing a book every three days (I could read at work). After leaving that job I stopped reading as much. I noticed that I usually only read in break rooms or waiting rooms. This means that I read in public a lot, and as a result I’ve developed a few pet peeves.

1.       It irks me when someone ‘needs’ my attention when I am reading. Now I want to make something clear, I am not talking about people that I know. I am talking about complete strangers who think it’s okay to interrupt my reading to tell me something or ask me a question. I am almost always in a room full of people when this happens and there is almost always an attendant or official person who can answer the question better than me. I wish reading in public was seen in the same light as headphones in public.

2.       I hate when random people judge me for what I read. Okay, so I don’t mind talking about books, but I don’t like it when someone asks me what I’m reading just to judge me for it. The last time this happened to me I was reading Midnight Texas by Charline Harris. The guy asked me what I was reading and what it was about and when I told him he said that I was wasting my time and needed to start reading non-fiction.

3.       This brings me to my next point, unwelcome suggestions. I don’t mind when someone suggests a book to me that they think I might actually like, but when someone suggests a book to me because they think it’s better than what I am currently reading….well, that’s when I do what I like to call an inner eye-roll. I love meeting a fellow reader, especially one who’s passionate about what they read, but I’m not interested in certain types of books. I don’t mind people telling me about the type of book that they like, in fact, I’ve picked up books due to hearing about how much other people loved them. I just don’t like when people seem to be judging me based on what I read. *Note, tell me your favorite book in the comments down below.

Okay, so that’s my list for my reading pet peeves. Be sure to leave yours in the comments down below.

Writing prompts

I've started doing writing prompts, and I plan to post them on wattpad. I'm going to post one of the first ones on here.

I pushed my earbuds deeper into my ears, hoping that they’d somehow drown out the sound of the crying baby to my left. I caught a glimpse of the man who sat across from me. He looked equally annoyed, as he swiped furiously on his phone. A family of four brushed past me, the youngest member stepping on my foot as his family exited the train. A woman carrying a newspaper plopped down in the only empty seat, which happened to be right beside me. She smelled of garlic, so I was grateful when we finally pulled my stop. I gathered my belongings and bolted for the exit. My feet had barely grazed the ground outside of the train when I realized that my journal was missing. I let out a small gasp when I turned to re-enter the train. The crying baby and her mother were gone, as were all the other passengers. My heart pounded as I walked towards my journal. The sound of my heels was the only noise filling the train. “What the heck?” I finally asked, aloud.

That’s when I saw him. He was dressed like any other business man, but I knew that there was an energy around him. I wasn’t sure what he was, but I knew that I wanted to avoid him. “I came back for my journal,” I said, holding up the tattered book.

His eyes seemed to glow as he walked towards me. He was a handsome man, the type of man who appeared shirtless on romance novels. I supposed he could have taken any appearance that he wanted, since I still wasn’t sure what he was. He had dark hair and a face full of stubble. His lips turned up as he studied me, almost as if he were amused by me. “I came here to bother you for your services, half-angel.”

I heard my journal hit the ground with a loud thud before I realized that I’d dropped it. “How do you know what I am?” I asked. I thought I’d been careful about hiding, but I clearly hadn’t been as cautious as I should have been.

“Please forgive me, Cassandra,” he said my name as if we were old friends. “My name is Noah, and I’m like you.”

“If you’re like me, you won’t need my help,” I said as I rushed toward the door.

Noah seemed to materialize from the air in front of me, blocking my path. “I do need your help, because someone is hunting us.”

I let someone use my work as their own...

Once upon a time, I let someone use my work as their own. No, not a major author or anything. I was in elementary school when I discovered my love of writing. I developed grammar skills by writing in daily journals at school. My favorite journal entries were the ones where the teacher didn't assign a topic and we got to decide what we wanted to write. We also had writing assignments where we wrote fiction stories. One of these assignments was to write a Halloween story. I was a huge fan of the Goosebumps series at the time, so my mind was filled with ideas that would have easily fit into that show (and book series). I ended up settling on a humorous story and ghosts who had stinky feet. My best friend hadn't had time to write a story, so she asked me to write one for her (which I did). I think if I was able to go back I wouldn't have written the story for her. That was my work and I shouldn't have just given it away. Especially since I think ghostwriting is wrong (in the fiction world).

My writing goals for 2019

2018 has been over for more than a month, and I haven't written anything about my goals. Every year I make goals for myself, such as to lose weight or to study more, but this year I decided to take everything a step forward. This year I made personal goals and writing goals. My personal goals are the boring type. I want to better myself in every way possible. I also made a goal to blog more often and post youtube videos more often. My biggest goals are my writing goals. I plan to have two books published this year. Books that I am already working on. 

The Fortune Teller's Gift will likely be my first release. 

I also plan to market more. I haven't really marketed a book before, and part of me wonders if I can even do it. Sure, I've collected a list of writing hashtags, but that's not all it takes. I have to socialize with people online and in person. I have to build relationships, which I've actually been wanting to do anyway. The only problem is...I'm busy. I work, I write, and I go to college. I don't really have the time for much marketing, which worries me. 

My Creative Writing Nightmare...

I would like to start off by saying that this is my own experience, yours will differ from mine. Even the people in my own class will have a differing experience from mine. My tale starts in 2012, when I thought it wasn’t cool to smile in pictures. 

I decided that I wanted to do something more with my life. I didn’t want to get stuck working retail, so on impulse I went to my local college. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but there were plenty of people to help me. I took the classes they signed me up for and did well in them (I got a 4.0 my first semester). I loved my classes so much that I signed up for a summer class (English 1). I had always done well in English, so I knew that I could pass the course during the summer. I was right, I loved the class. I really enjoyed using my personal experiences to craft essays. I was disappointed when the class was over, but I did sign up for English 2 (with a different professor). By the time my fall semester was ending, I about to move. I wasn’t going to be able to attend the school anymore. I was disappointed, because the teacher who I had taken English 1 with was going to be teaching a creative writing class during the Spring semester. I had never wanted anything more than to take that class, so I signed up online and ordered my books through the online store. I noticed that there was no book assigned to the bookstore for my creative writing class, but I didn’t find that strange. I thought we were just going to focus on writing, but I soon found out that I was wrong. The teacher wanted us to buy this ten-dollar book from amazon. I don’t remember the name of the book, only that I couldn’t buy it at the time because I didn’t have the funds (I was in between jobs and waiting for my aid to come in). The teacher gave us our first assignment, to describe a meeting between a father and daughter who had not seen each other in years. I excelled at the assignment, but that was the last assignment I’d ever excel at in her class. The next assignment she allowed us to write about whatever we wanted, so I wrote about werewolves. My work in progress at the time was a werewolf novel about a werewolf who is imprisoned in an observation cell (I am still planning to publish this in the future).  

I sent her the now cut court room scene, the one where it's decided the young wolf will go be forced to live in the cell. The teacher wrote back saying that it was boring and that she hated werewolves. She later posted an announcement telling us that we were not allowed to write about werewolves, vampires, ghosts, or zombies because those topics bored her. I felt sick to my stomach as I read those words a second time. Wasn't this a creative writing class? Shouldn't I have been able to write about whatever I wanted (within reason)? I stared at the screen in disbelief. How could she have taken that freedom from us? That's when things went from bad to worse. We were never given another writing assignment, instead the ten dollar book came into play. We had to read one of the short stories in the book and write a paragraph about it. I asked the teacher if the bookstore had gotten the book yet, and she said that it was a book they did not carry and would not carry and she gave me the link to buy the book from amazon. I explained to her that my funds hadn't cleared yet and that I was between jobs, but she didn't care. She dropped me from the class as soon as my payment had cleared (which meant that she got paid for me taking the class). I actually cried when I found out what she had done. I didn't know what to do, so I sent several frantic emails to the school asking them for assistance. The emails went unanswered, so I moved on to the better business bureau. I asked that I either allowed back into the class or my money be refunded. I had caused such a fuss that they let me back into the class. My funds cleared at this time, so I purchased the book. It was a thin book, and it certainly didn't look to be worth 10 dollars. I couldn't find it in my amazon purchase history, so I think it may have been a self published book that's no longer for sale (this is an important detail). There were short and dull stories about love, and one about staring out of a window. I completed all of my assignments, eager for a new writing assignment that would never come. My teacher carried a chip on her shoulder because of what had transpired. She ended up giving me a D, because she claimed that I had missed a big assignment during the few days that she had kicked me out of her class. I pleaded with her. I tried to get her to allow me to redo the assignment, but she was cold to me. She ignored all of my emails. The class was over and I had a D because of her. 

This is the part where I do something that I'm not proud of... I googled my teacher's name. I wanted to know more about the person who had forced me out of her class just to give me a D. It turned out that she was a self published author (which makes me wonder if the book she assigned to us was her writing under a pen name). She had just written a book about....ghosts. The woman who had told us not to write about ghosts had written a book about ghosts. I could almost feel my blood boiling as I read the reviews and even used the 'look inside' feature. There was only a handful of reviews, which all seemed to be from friends. I decided to give her a 1 star review (something I wouldn't do now). I wrote that her book was very expensive toilet paper. At the time I felt a small bit better (I needed to vent), but now I regret doing something so immature. The same thing has been done to me (I'll talk about that in a future post). 

Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog. In the future I hope to post about my time attending the Long Ridge Writer's Group, which now has a different name. It might take me awhile to post that blog. I want to try to find all of my paperwork and assignments from that time and share them. If you're curious, I did write Wolf Within while with them. It's linked near the header of my blog.  

I'm on wattpad!

My 2018 in books!

I know I'm a little late to the party, but I felt that 2018 was an important year for me reading wise. I kind of stopped reading in 2015 and had trouble getting back into the hobby. Even authors that I love couldn't hold my attention. I missed reading, and wanted to get back into the hobby, but I had some trouble. I finally decided to make myself a goal on Goodreads, I would read 50 books. I started out trying to read my old favorite genre (urban fantasy, the genre that I write). I tried the Queen Betsy books, but only managed to get about 75 percent through them. I wasn't able to finish the book because despite having a love for the genre, there was one big thing that annoys me about it. The main character often finds allows her love interest to do things that repulse her and she usually just forgives him or moves on without so much as a discussion. I may go back and finish the book, but I don't have any plans to anytime soon. I also purchased a few books after asking for suggestions on facebook and reddit, but none of them really stuck. The next big book that I read was You, and it was life changing. I ended up falling in love with the thriller genre as a result. My library has this form on their website where you can ask for suggestions and they send you an email with a list of books they think you might enjoy. At the time that I sent off for suggestions I didn't really have much time to read, but then I ended up getting a job as a receptionist and I was allowed to read during my down time. I went through book after book, usually in a matter of three days. I was flying through my list, until I got to a book that was supposed to be an adult Scobby Doo. The book dragged, and as a result, I ended up reading the Midnight Texas books. Manfred had always been one of my favorite characters (the actor that plays him on tv isn't bad to look at either) so I was glad to see that he was getting his own series (I also really like Fiji). I'm currently reading the last book in the series and I love it. I didn't quite reach my goal, but this year was still really important to me. I rediscovered my love of reading. This year I plan to set a smaller goal (like 25) and I plan to hold onto my love of reading.