Thursday, January 12, 2017

Why did I decide to write about an abusive relationship?

A few years ago I got the idea for this character that I thought was awesome. She was someone who had been through a lot and been forced into a life she'd never imagined possible, a life in captivity. I also decided to make this character an FBI agent which made it able for her to get out and investigate crimes. The first crime I wanted her to solve was the murder of one of her ex-boyfriends. I wanted their relationship to have ended badly, but I couldn't figure out what would make her feel so conflicted about working on his case. I tried making her ex a cheater, but something about that didn't feel right. I decided to put the project away for awhile, and moved on with my life. I met the man I thought that I would spend my life with, but in reality I was in a very abusive relationship. I don't think most people realize how easy it is to get suckered into an abusive relationship. It started out with little things (like him telling me that I couldn't put that we were in a relationship until I changed my facebook picture to the one he liked), and grew into something bigger. It got to the point where I was afraid to tell him no whenever he wanted something and I couldn't eat in the same room with him. He would yell at me until I was in tears when I didn't give him his way and do other things that I'm not posting here because it feels too personal. I wasn't happy in the relationship, but I felt trapped. He took away every resource I had to get away from him. When things ended I didn't think of myself as having been abused by him. It took months before I finally saw that the way he was treating me was wrong. I found Hair of the Wolf on my laptop not long after and it just clicked. It made sense for my main character, Anyssa, to have been in an abusive relationship. With every word I wrote she became more real, someone that I could relate to because I had been there.

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