My thoughts on 13 reasons why

As a writer I find myself drawn to stories. It doesn't matter if they are my own or other people's stories. If I can find something to relate to in the story I end up getting hooked until the end. A few years ago I was lucky enough to have a job where I could read during my long and boring shifts. It was so dead that I averaged about a book and a half per day. I picked up 13 reasons why during that time. I remember it being a book that made me think back to my high school days. I couldn't help wondering if one or two things had gone differently.... That's the thing about 13 reasons why. The book makes you think. It's the type of thing that could happen to anyone and is already happening in this digital world that we live in. I remember how excited I was when I heard about the netflix series and I ended up watching a few episodes everyday after work. I was drawn in. The characters seemed real to me, each one flawed. Needless to say, I enjoyed the show. A few days later I saw an article saying something about schools warning kids about the show. The show supposedly glories suicide, but I don't agree with that. The after effects of her suicide are showcased, from her parent's grieving to the jerks at school who only seem to be worried about making sure they don't get in trouble. Each person reacts differently, and if maybe if someone had reached to help her she would still be alive. Now I'm not saying that the other people were responsible for her mental state, but I know first hand that other people's actions can hurt. Hannah should have sought help much sooner than she did, and maybe this tv show can urge someone in the same situation to reach out when they need help.

Why can't we get a decent female superhero movie/tv show?

Recently I commented on a youtube video about a Black Widow movie. I said that I was not in favor of it, which sparked a debate in the comments section. People went crazy, until I put my reasoning. I don't think Scarjo can carry a movie. I've seen Lucy and thought it was a decent movie, but I wouldn't have gone to the movies to see Lucy. I also don't enjoy the way the character was treated in the comics. I also think that she's not the best comic book character to get a movie. Her story has been told, and she's also better as a supporting character. Something else that really gets on my nerves is that female superheros usually have to have female villains. While their rouges galleries are smaller, I'm sure the producers have their pick of great comic material to work with. Why not pick a good story and improve on it? Story means a lot to me when I go to the movies, as I'm sure it does most people. Is the movie industry afraid to give us a female character who might not make it out alive? I came across an article when I first started writing about how you need to put your characters in danger if you are writing fiction. No one wants to read a book about a heroine who faces no risks. Anyway, sorry if I was rambling.

Art in Writing

I remember when I went to elementary school and I took an art class. It was a lot of fun, but one thing the teacher told us has always stuck with me. She said that every artist puts a little bit of themselves in every project. I found myself thinking about that recently and it hasn't ever been more true for me than it is now. I find myself relating to the characters that I write more than ever. I wrote one who worked in a shoe store at the time that I was working in a shoe store with the same inner thoughts as I had. I also just started writing about a character who distances herself from most people, someone I find that we can all relate to. No, I don't think the average person is anti social and ignores others, but I think we've all faced times where we've felt alone. The character that I am writing now is a werewolf named Anyssa, she's someone that I find myself relating to more than I've ever related to any of my other characters. She's been through a bad relationship and does her best to avoid getting into a new one, but sometimes things just happen. Although it's not a romance, it has elements in there like a love interest. A good story is more complex than just going from point A to point B. The reader has to enjoy the ride or they won't pick up anything else that you've written. In a way, your reader knows you better than anyone. They are reading something you put time and effort into, something some people might say is part of you.

Comic books and angry women who don't understand them

Normally I wouldn't bring attention to something like this, but I am so annoyed with this video and many others on this woman's youtube channel. I wish I could just write her a quick comment getting my point across, but she has her comments disabled. I'm talking about this woman:

She clearly doesn't read comic books, but feels ok talking about them because she's seen someone else's youtube video. Oh, and she says Fable 2 is a video game in which you are forced to play as a male getting revenge for the death of a female family member. The funny thing about that is that I have that video game and I play it as a FEMALE character. In this video she talks about all comic books being so awful to woman because a lot of females die in the comics. Well a lot of males die too, and not only that both male and female characters frequently come back from the dead, most of the time stronger. Jean Grey is the perfect example of this, since she comes back as the Dark Phoenix. Gwen Stacey is back as Spider Gwen. This woman also keeps referencing the Killing Joke and Barbara Gordon being shot by the Joker. Yes, she does get shot by the Joker, and she does later become the Oracle (which many people look up to as a strong female character), but she also later gets to walk again and even takes up the mantle of Batgirl again. What about comics where female characters don't die? Does this woman even know there are comic writers who are FEMALE? This woman also claims that many of the male characters who died went down fighting and the female characters did not. Elecktra dies by fighting Bullseye. Just about every female who died in the Walking Dead died fighting, and I know a lot of bad things happened to some of the women in that book, but I believe that the Walking Dead portrays violence very accurately. These are things that actually could happen to people if they were in the same situation. There are many others who have, and yes some woman in comics were killed in very unfair ways, but there are many different genres of comic books and to just group them all into one genre is unfair. One of my dreams is to create a comic book. Sorry for the rant, but it's clear this woman was just looking for something to be angry about. If she happens to stumble upon my blog I would like to advise her to do research next time before posting an angry video.

Weekend Review: The Walking Dead season 2 video game

First I would just like to shamelessly self promote my YouTube channel, which I am still trying to figure out. I play video games on it. You can view my walking dead playlist by clicking here.

I have a YouTube channel where I play games, and that means I get to try out a lot of games that I haven't before. I haven't really been working too hard on the gaming channel, but I plan to change that soon. I just need to set aside some time to do so. I also have been busy with school, which is why I didn't read a book this week for the weekend review (I am honestly thinking of doing one day with a game review and the other book review). Anyway, I am really getting into the walking dead season 2, just like I did with season 1, but I do find some actions a little...unnecessary. When Clementine was patching up her arm it seemed to take forever, and you also need to click on every single thing, which drives me a bit crazy. Everything else has me interested, the story is great, the 'combat' is the same as the first game. It's a great game. I can't wait to play more of it.

Writing weaknesses

When I was in elementary school I remember one of my teachers telling us the importance of adding weakness to our characters. She said that readers don't like to read about a character who isn't flawed and doesn't have some type of weakness. I found myself thinking about that a lot lately. I'm currently writing about a character who is almost human, she just has one thing that makes her stand out. I think that makes her more complex, a little harder to write but more entertaining. No one wants to read about a character who can get through anything thrown at them.

Would my characters have had a decent Valentine's day?

While I haven't published anything yet, I have been working on my writing for awhile. Due to school and work it's been hard to get any content out. I still found myself thinking about my characters during Valentine's day. Would they have had a happy Valentine's day, or would they have spent it the way I did? At work, bored out of their minds. I'm not sure how much I disclosed about the werewolf series that I hope to have published sometime soon, but Anyssa is the main character in that series and she's locked in an apartment sized jail cell as part of her punishment for reviewing werewolves to the outside world. ZB, the main character in the zombie story I started but never finished would probably have lost track of time and not know it was Valentine's day. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish that novel, but I do see potential in it. Lastly, I've been working on a grim reaper novel, and my main character would be working with no Valentine to keep her company. Why didn't I give any of these characters a happy Valentine's day? The answer to that is simple, I feel like my characters have to go through things to make them seem more real. They can't always have true love, or even a happy ending. No one would want to read about a character who has everything going for them. Imagine how boring a novel would be if the main character got everything they wanted and a happy ending. I don't think many people would want to read that. I am aware that lots of people enjoy reading books with a happy ending, but I think the happy endings need to be earned. No one wants to read a book where everything comes easy. Hopefully, no one wants to write a book like that either, it's just lazy.

What will it be like when it happens to me?

I noticed that HP Mallory is having a book release party online today. I know she'll do well, she's an amazing author. I can't wait to pick up the book myself. I also can't help wondering what it would be like to be in her shoes. I always wonder what it's going to be like when I finally self publish my first book, but I don't think I've ever allowed myself to wonder what it would be like to be successful. I guess I never dared to dream that people would be interested in reading what I write about. I always thought other things might get in the way. I go to school and have a new relationship, so it's hard to find time to blog. I also have a full time job, which I need to keep. All of that cuts into my writing time. I'm already into the month where I had planned to release my novel, and way behind. It would have been the perfect time to unleash it into the world, but I had so many things get in the way.

Paper Perfect Characters

This weekend I was supposed to go on a date with a guy who seemed perfect on paper. If I had asked him to fill out an application to be my boyfriend he would have gotten the job. He was into art and seemed to be a nice guy, until it came time to go on the date. He wasn't there at the time he was supposed to be there, in fact, he sent me a text saying he was leaving ten minutes before he was supposed to be there. After waiting for awhile I sent him a text saying not to worry about it. He got angry and instead of rescheduling he demanded I go to him next time. He lives an hour away and I have issues driving to places I've never been. I can understand his anger, since he had already started driving toward me. Anyway, when I tried to make plans to reschedule and make actual plans he sent me a rude text saying he was busy and wasn't going to be around his phone (probably code for out with another girl, don't bother him), but if I wanted anything to do with him I would have to go to him. Before his rude text I would have had no problem going to see him, if I decided that I liked him, but we never went on that first date. I just had a picture of what I thought he was like. What does this have to do with writing? Well, he wasn't what I thought he was, and sometimes characters aren't either. People/characters are complex and have many layers (am I quoting Shrek?). In writing, just like in real life you have to peel back those layers and get to know what's underneath. When you write characters they have to come to life. They have to do things that make them reveal their layers, just like my date revealed another layer of his personality when he sent me a rude text. You have to put characters in situations where they reveal more things about themselves, the good and the bad. Readers won't keep reading a book where they can't they can't relate to the characters, that's one of the main things I see in book reviews. People talking about the characters and their actions and being driven crazy by them. The characters have to be real to the readers. Who wants to read a book they can't get lost in?

How much of myself do I put into a character?

When I was in middle school my art teacher told the class that everyone puts a bit of themselves into their artwork. I can paint, but I can't draw, but I consider my art to be writing. While I've never based a character on myself, I do find myself using things that I've experienced to influence my characters. I might put a little of myself into them. I might give one of them a joke that I would usually tell or have one of them wear a shade of lipstick that I love. There's no one character that I've written that I think of as like me, but I can see parts of me in them. I think every writer draws from experience. I don't know if you can have a character go through something you haven't. Well, I don't think it would be believable to the readers. This is the very reason I'm looking to try new things, because I want to be the best writer that I can be.

Creating Characters

When I took intro to fiction writing, my teacher us that writing was like playing God. I didn't know until recently that she stole that quote from a tv show. I had never really given that quote much thought, but it is true. When you write you build the world and the characters. You give them actions, personality, motives. You're the reason they succeed or fail. For me the hardest part about creating a character is forming their personality. Their motives and actions are always clearer to me than their personality. I have to think about the way they talk, dress, and act. I have to think about their reactions to things and why they feel that way. It's like looking at a real person and trying to figure out everything about them. The character has to have interests, even doing something like making them wear a band t-shirt develops them a little more. They usually wouldn't wear a band t-shirt unless they liked said band, or if there is another reason they would usually explain that in dialog. Example: I'm wearing my friend's shirt, I spilled something on mine. If they have no interests outside of the story they are not interesting, and no one will want to read about them. Although building characters is the hardest thing about writing, I also enjoy it the most. I like getting to know my characters. I usually keep a notebook and make notes for each character and just refer to it when I need to.

The problem with basing a character on someone you know

In my soon to be released book, there's a character named Trevor. Trevor is not one of the main characters, but he is important to the story, and he's based on my ex-boyfriend. A long time ago I dated a guy who treated me so badly that I knew I wouldn't get over it unless I did something. I started writing a story with a character based on him. This is the only character that I have ever written based on someone I know in real life, and I don't plan to write about anyone else that I know. I also told the ex that I was writing about him, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it. He said he wasn't going to read it, even though at that time we were in a "good" place again, but he said it was cool. I stopped during a small frame of time when he was back in my life. I guess I couldn't write a character based on someone when I had fresh emotions towards them. I started writing about zombies, and didn't look at this story again until I got stuck on the zombie story. When I looked at this story again, I realized that this story was good! It was the kind of story that I would like to read, so I started working on it again. I edited what I already had, and then started adding new parts. I realized when I edited it the second time that the story was too personal. There were things I'd written about that I would have been horrified to release to the world. I had to really look at Trevor's character and fictionalize it more than I had. I had to think about his motives and come up with a reason for him to want to hurt his ex-girlfriend. I also had to alter their past relationship so that it no longer mirrored the one I had. I had to think about my own ex-boyfriend and wonder if he would have done the same things that Trevor did. Thinking about my ex while writing this was the worst part. You think about all the pain you endured because of that relationship. What I thought was a way to get rid of my pain actually ended up causing me a little bit more pain. I think it would be different if I was writing a character based on a friend, but I would still have to think about that friend in terms of motive and how they would behave. I think it's actually harder to write about someone you know, instead of someone you've made up. I don't regret including a character based on someone I know, but I don't foresee myself doing it again.

Adult vs. Young Adult

For the past few months, I've struggled to find books I find interesting at Barnes and noble. I did read the Better Off Dead books by HP Mallory lately, but they were such a quick read. bought a few books that kindle suggested to me, but none of them interested me. I also tried reading the Veronica Mars novel (I'm a huge Veronica Mars fan), but that lacked the magic of the series (and so did the movie). I could read books like the Mercy Thompson series, which I haven't finished, but I want something new. I don't normally read young adult. I've tried, but a lot of the books I picked up were poorly written. I did read the ya series by Jesi Lea Ryan lately. I loved both books. It made me think that maybe there are some ya books I should give a chance. I remember being intrigued by the book 13 Reasons Why, and more recently an Alice and Wonderland series that I spotted on a ya table at Barnes and Noble. Today I happened to walk past the book section of walmart. There was a book To All The Boys I've Loved. It's not the type of book I normally read, but I picked it up and read the back. I quickly cracked it open, intrigued by the premise (it made me think of my past relationships and the things I would have said in letters if I knew they weren't going to read them). I was shocked. It didn't seem like a ya book, or not one like I'd read. I knew there were good ya books, The Outsiders, Smack, Speak, etc., but I thought all modern day ya was like Gossip Girl and twilight. I did enjoy the Jesi Lea Ryan novels, so I might pick up a few more ya books. I haven't seen many new adult books that interest me lately. All the ya books on the market remind me of Wolf Within and it's potential to be a great ya book if I edit the heck out of it.

Not the best at expressing myself

It's not a big surprise that I'm horrible at expressing myself. I had a whole relationship where both my boyfriend and myself didn't think the other party liked us. I liked him, but I'm fairly sure he didn't like me all that much. What does this have to do with anything? Well, this translates to my blog as well. Like I've written before, I'm not very good at blogging. I keep a journal and write my personal feelings/thoughts in there, but that's different from a public blog about writing. I know how to express myself in writing, and that's pretty much the only place I know how to express myself. Actually, I know how to let my characters express themselves, I'm still not to sure about myself. While I am good at essay style writing, I'm not so good at blogging. Sometimes what I mean gets lost in what I am trying to express. Writing a blog isn't the same as writing an essay. I don't take the time to read over and rewrite if I want to. Once I press the publish button it goes public. It's live on the internet, even if no one decides to read it (which seems like the case in this blog). I think a few things were lost in translation during one of my last posts. I wrote about my thoughts about the business angle of Amanda Hocking. I don't really have thoughts on her personally, as I have never met her. I think her success story is wonderful, and I always like to see a writer doing well. The part of my post where things may have been mistranslated was when I was talking about her story being more about her fans than her. It's her fans who made her what she is. I think it's amazing that a group of people could make someone so successful. I know she's been posting a lot less lately, and that's understandable. Everyone needs a break, and there are things people need to keep to themselves. I actually wish some celebs would take a break, but anyway, it seems like her break means less sales for her. I don't know much about the business side of amazon (yet), but it looks like she's selling less. There are less reviews on her newer books. That could just be because the books are newer and people are waiting for a price drop before purchasing, or it could mean that her fans are moving on, or at least not as interested. That's pretty much what I meant to say. I'm trying to learn a little bit about the business side of self publishing before I release my own self published novel into the world. Her story is a rare success story that I enjoyed reading.

Early writing mistakes

I've always wanted to be a writer, it seemed like my calling since I wrote my first non school story in second grade. I stopped writing for awhile when I was a teenager. I wish I had kept writing, it would have only helped me improve. I picked writing up again when I was about twenty three or twenty two. I'm not sure why I picked it back up, my only guess is the stories that were in my head begging to be written wouldn't go away. It's been a rough journey for me. I have trouble finishing projects, although the one I'm working on now just needs another glance over. I was often broke when I was writing these stories, and I actually tried to sell books after just writing the first draft of whatever I was working on. That turned out as well as you can expect, and I know it wasn't good for my writing career. The only reason I rushed through the first chapter and sent it off was because I was poor, I was struggling to pay for gas to get back and forth to work. My situation improved a little when I got a job that was closer to home, and so did my outlook on writing. I decided that I didn't want to sell my book to a publishing company, I wanted to self publish. I wanted to live all the ups and downs of my journey. I know it's going to be hard, probably harder than I could ever dream, but I decided this is the path for me. I haven't sent off what I'm working on to a literary agent, at this point I don't want one. Maybe one day that will change, but for now I want to see what this is like. In fact, I hope to soon, maybe late this month or early next month. Another mistake I've made is letting other things get in the way. When I get home from work, it seems like I'm too tired to think. Maybe I should take naps and write when I wake up. I've also allowed other things to get in my way, like getting a new video game or book. Things that I shouldn't put before my writing. I know I need a break sometimes, but a break shouldn't turn into me catching all 150, or however many pokemon they have now. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I know I'm going to make more, but that's my journey to take.

Dialog

I took a college fiction writing class at a community college last semester. It was actually more like a fiction reading class with a splash of writing thrown in, since we only did three or four writing assignments and we read about twenty stories. I took this class because I believe you can learn something from everyone, but I learned nothing in this class. Well, nothing the teacher taught me. For our first writing assignment we were told to write a 300 word story that was character vs. nature, character vs. the world, or character vs. supernatural. I went against my better judgement and took the easy way out. I wrote a courtroom scene that was mostly dialog. I thought my teacher would run screaming away from anything I actually wanted to write. I had to filter my writing for fear of being feared. Even tame fiction can be twisted into something that it's not. What I mean is, because of all the violence, school shootings, etc., I was afraid to write a story that I might actually like. An innocent piece of werewolf fiction could be frowned upon in a school setting because of the violent content. When my teacher graded the paper she wrote, "Too much dialog, and it's boring." Maybe not in those words, but she wrote them. The next assignment I turned in had maybe two sentences of dialog, but I wrote more along the lines of what I wanted to write (well, the paper was based on a photograph the teacher had chosen for us). My teacher did enjoy that assignment more, but she didn't love it. For the last assignment we were given a 1000 word limit and no boundries, so I finally decided to write about something I actually wanted to write about. I picked a topic that was more tame than werewolves, but was still something that interested me. This time my teacher actually loved it. I wonder if I had just wrote what I wanted in the first place if I would have actually learned something else.

The struggle to keep characters fresh

I think one of the biggest struggles any author faces is keeping the characters fresh. In your head you think of all these actions you want your characters to carry out, but if your not careful you can make flat characters, or even worse, annoying ones. Today I feel like I need to take a look at my characters. I need to make sure that they are all speaking with their own voices and all have different personalities.