I'm a writer...in progress

I'm an author, a writer, a person who sits at the keyboard and bleeds words all over a document. It feels so good to admit it, but haven't I always admitted it? I have a blog where I write about my adventures in self publishing. I share my many set backs and my accomplishments. I have a book for sale on amazon (Zombie Bite) and I'm about to have another book available soon, but I don't introduce myself to others as an author. I don't hand out my business cards, or do anything to bring attention to me. It's almost like I'm ashamed to admit that I'm a writer. Why? Do I feel like people will judge me or my work? Well, yes, I do feel like that. Whenever I tell people that I'm a writer I feel like I have to live up to a certain standard. I feel like I can't make mistakes and even my blog has to be 100 percent error free. At work I throw away papers that I've written on if I feel like I may have misspelled a word or that the word doesn't look right written out. I hold myself to such a high standard that I end up hiding this part of myself. Why do I do that? Is it because I get negative comments about the amount of money authors make? Maybe because I had a coworker tell me that there were plenty of writers and there was no way that I could stand out and make a living. Maybe it's because the ex that I thought I would marry showed no interest in my writing. He never once asked to read my writing, and he also never encouraged me (even after I said we should write children's books together based on my dogs). It could also be because I don't think Zombie Bite is very good. I wrote everything but the opening when I was in a dark place. I had just been through a break up and wanted to get it out there because I needed to be successful at something. I regret the way I ended Zombie Bite, but that doesn't mean that I regret writing it. I need to own the fact that I'm a writer, an author, and push myself outside of my comfort zone. I need to pass out business cards in my spare time and promote my books on social media. There will always be people who don't like me or my writing, but that doesn't change the fact that I am a writer and a published author.

Your dreams won't come true unless you push yourself

I am about to publish my zombie novel, the one that I had shared an unedited first draft chapter a few months or so ago, and I couldn't be happier about finally wrapping that up and putting it out there. I feel like I've worked harder on that than I have anything else. I plan on working on some other old novels that I have on here after that. I know that I wouldn't have gotten that far if I hadn't pushed myself, but there was a time that I wasn't pushing myself. In 2015 I had just about given up on writing. I got to do it every now and then, but my ex made it clear that my free time belonged to him. He was a person who didn't push himself. He wanted to be an artist, but it seemed to me like he only wanted to sell his art to his friends and family (people who were safe and wouldn't say that his art sucked). I often pushed him, even saying that we should write a children's book together where he could draw and I could write. There came a point where I gave up on motivating him because nothing that I said stuck with him. I became kind of mean towards him, but that's a story for another day if at all. One thing that I have not been pushing myself towards is the let's play channel that I made. I plan to do more with that soon. I'm considering playing the second season of the walking dead, since I haven't yet. The let's play channel isn't my dream though, it's just something fun to do. I already like playing games and it's fun to record myself playing them. Anyway, the point of this blog is that you can not be successful unless you push yourself to be. You need to put in the effort, work towards your goals.

Finally a blurb!!!

I've finally got a blurb for my ebook. It's a little vague, but I think it works without spoiling the book.



FBI agent Anyssa Marshall doesn’t get out much. In fact, she’s confined to an apartment sized jail cell after revealing the existence of supernatural beings. Anyssa thinks of the cell as protection, until her ex-boyfriend is found murdered with her picture in his pocket. Despite her connection to the victim, she’s allowed a few hours each day to investigate the case. Will she catch his killer, or will the price for her newfound freedom be her life?

It's time for me to sit down and write a blurb

Nothing gives me writer's block more than when it's time to write the blurb. For some reason it's hard for me to write about what my book is about. I know what it's about, I wrote it, but for some reason the words to describe it won't come when I am sitting in front of that blank document. Why is it so hard? Is it because I don't like talking about myself, therefore, I don't like talking about something I've created? Is it because my book is so packed with awesomeness that it's hard to put into words. Maybe it's because I don't know much about marketing, which means I'm not sure what would sell the book. Whatever it is, I need to get over it. I'm editing the final chapters and the book will be ready for publication soon. I feel like I should have done this sooner, so that I would have more time to edit the blurb. I just can't wait until it's done and I have a blurb to represent my work.

Blurbs and about me

As I prepare to write those two little words, the end, I realize that I'm missing something. I don't have a blurb for my soon to be released novel. What's even worse is whenever I sit down to write one I end up staring at a blank page for thirty minutes. How is it possible that I can't think of a summary? I know my novel better than anyone, and I work in sales, so it should be easy to type out a short summary. What's even worse is the about me section. Am I so dull that I can't think of a single thing to say about myself? Maybe. Maybe I just don't like talking about myself.